Conspiracy time #4 the undeniable kooks series. YOGA=SATANIC WORSHIP!

Conspiracy time, c'mon inform your friends, we're going to very, crazy lands, with Ziga the Human and weird ass kooks, conspiracies never end, it's conspiracy time!

I love these conspiracy theories, because they are usually funny or give you cancer. Please read this with caution as you will most likely wake up less intelligent and remain like that for ages. It’s also very funny and I will add some commentary.

Yoga is Satanic Worship

One of the biggest and the fastest growing cult in the world is yoga. It is a spiritual pandemic that is contaminating the entire world, including our churches and our people. If you think you have never been exposed to these demonic forces, think again. If you have ever exercised, especially stretching exercises, or involved in any kind of relaxation, meditational, memory improvement, laughter therapy, stress reduction, Pilates or breathing techniques, you have most likely participated in yoga.

Yoga is a cult? I once saw a priest do yoga and he got possessed by a demon and proceeded to worship Satan in the park! God damn yoga! Satanic worship is everywhere. Here. Now. Even behind you right now!

Yoga is one of the greatest evangelisation tools of Hinduism, Buddhism and The New Age Religion. Most people you come across are yoga promoters. They could be your fitness instructor, your doctor, your physiotherapist, schools your kids attend, your friends, your employer, and sadly even some churches promote yoga.

True. I’m a yoga promoter and I worship Satan. No point in denying that! Every sane person is a yoga promoter because it’s fucking healthy.

Yoga is rooted in occult and satanic rituals. Most people are deceived into thinking that yoga is just a sequence of exercises that promote health, relaxation and wellbeing. Far from it, it is demonic worship and an open door for satanic attacks on people that practise them. Every pose in yoga is a worship position to a Hindu deity. Hinduism is based on pantheism, which believes everything is a god and everybody is a god including yourself and yoga helps attain this oneness with other gods (demons) and brings you with the self-awareness that you are a god.

We have been deceived for the last time! Ommmm glooory to Satannnnn ommmm. You heard it too right? Jesus Christ(get it?), I can’t even.

In simple words, yoga is tapping into the demonic realm and the more positions, exercises or techniques you perform, the more demons you give access to in your life. If you have practised yoga and you think it has benefited you immensely and you have not encountered any demonic manifestations within yourself, just don’t jump to the conclusion that it is harmless. Here’s something you need to know. Many times demons that manifest in people are like a two year old child that throws tantrums when they cannot have their own way. Demons that don’t manifest are the ones that are most dangerous.

Much like mastrubating. Do you stretch in the morning? You’re possessed. Yep, you read correctly! Please comment, I wonder what you have to say!

It’s easy to diagnose and treat a disease, if you know the symptoms. If the symptoms don’t show up, a person can remain undiagnosed and untreated. What you don’t know has the potential to destroy you, if you hold on to it and continue doing yoga. There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death (Proverbs 14:12 ESV).

Ok? What?

Demonic possessions and oppressions don’t bring health, relaxation and wellbeing; they bring with them disease, depression, suicidal tendencies and create disharmony in your life.

Happens to me all the time, without doing yoga, c’mon.

Whenever Jesus cast of demons from people, those people were also cured of physical and psychosomatic illnesses. And he went throughout all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, epileptics, and paralytics, and he healed them (Matthew 4L 23-24 ESV).

I wish I could have witnessed that. Hope they invent time travel soon.

Yoga is dangerous and as a Christian you should not practise it. Remember the first commandment. “I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:2-3 NIV). Yoga is demonic and satanic worship which every Christian should detest and stay away from it.

Do it if you’re not a Christian! What if, there are no gods? Could it be that yoga is just a relaxing workout? Impossible, incomprehensible, satanic worhip!

When Jesus casted out demons from two men from the region of Gadarenes, the demons asked Jesus to send them to the pigs. The pigs preferred to drown and die rather than be demon possessed. Demons prefer human bodies for possession, if they are unable to get a human, they settle down to possess animals or plants.

I once had a possessed ficus in the corner of my room, creepy shit. Then it told me to do yoga! Can you imagine?

If you have ever been involved in any kind of yogic practice, renounce this evil practice immediately. Repent of your involvement in yoga and ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive you and receive deliverance from every familiar spirit associated with yoga.

Listen to the words of wisdom from a person of sanity, clarity and facts!

Once you have repented and have been delivered, keep away from any yogic practise and involvement in the future. You will face the temptation of restarting yoga, but keep on resisting the devil and he will go away. If you give into it, your life will be worse than it was when you first got into it. “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.” (Matthew 12:43-45 NIV).

Resist the dark side of yoga!

Therefore once you are delivered, be filled and remain filled with the Holy Spirit and never go back to any form of demonic rituals.

K.

If yoga was the only form of exercise you have known, that does not mean you cannot exercise again. There are other forms of exercises to remain fit and healthy, for instance, walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, rope jumping, rowing, weight lifting, muscle building, etc. depending on your fitness level. Be prayerful and discerning before exercising, especially stretching as most of the stretching pose involves yoga. Stretching by itself is not wrong, but doing yogic poses for stretching is wrong. Pilate’s exercises are based on yoga poses, therefore it’s best to avoid this method of exercising as well.

I think you should be a coach, not a conspiracy lunatic. Can you make me a diet?

Transcendental meditation involves reciting a word (mantra) or focusing on a geometric occult symbol (yantra) is also yogic and satanic, therefore avoid such practises. Some Christians have Christianised yoga by using the name of Jesus or scripture verses to do yogic meditation. This too is demonic as you cannot worship the True Living God using satanic rituals. This is an abomination.

Hope is lost, so is logic and reason. No turning back now that you know the truth.

These are evil days and we need to be vigilant, prayerful and discerning. Amen.

So to caption. If you do yoga, you are in fact a satanic worshipper. Do not ever relax as you will be possessed,do not make cinnamon rolls,as you will be possessed. Do not read this type of shit as you will lose brain cells and abandon all reason! If you want more of these idiotic conspiracies I find lying around let me know! I will post them, add some commentary and let you guys decide what is and what isn’t. Should I be more descriptive? Or are the basic lines enough? Let Me know! See you soon.

Original article is found here; http://flavyanson.com/2015/05/18/yoga-is-satanic-worship/

Ziga.