Things that piss me off! Waiting in lines.

One of the things that really gets me pissed off is waiting in line. I don't know if I have some kind of a disease, allergy, phobia or if this is just modern day impatience, because as soon as I walk in a bank, post office, store or even the fucking bus and there are two people or more in line I am pinched by some unexplained anger.



Let's say I'm at the store and buying my shit in complete peace and putting them in a basket - I avoid carts because they exceed my budget - completely satisfied chatting with myself about what else I need and slowly approaching my end of the shopping trip, when I see a line at the cashier. Some three or four individuals who just finished their god damn monthly shopping. My first thought is; fuck this, I'm just gonna put it all back, I don't need anything this urgently, right now I don't have the will to stand in line.

Then I usually convince myself that I can wait those couple of minutes. And sure enough I do. For a couple of moments. I stand calmly, listening to people's stupid little talks, but suddenly I start tapping my foot, the other joins in and the party is on. Somebody is hitting me with their cart in my fucking ass and I tell them to fuck off and give them a lecture on life, somebody farts every time and the whole damned place smells like shit. So I wait and sing songs in my head, calculate how much time the slow shop clerk is going to need for each customer, hoping that nobody buys cigarettes, because they have them in the back storage instead on the fucking counter, and god forbid that a confused grandma forgot to weigh her fruit and vegetables. If you're lucky you won't have to tell someone who's trying to skip the line to fuck off. In the end the time always passes, although slowly and the place smells like shit because of someone who's farting and I promise myself I'll never go to the store at that time again.

Another example: I went to the bank the other day, although there is electronic communication with the guardians of my expenses rather than my incomes, it was urgent that I went to the bank in person. Sure enough there was a line after five minutes of the opening of the bank. At least six fine ladies in their sixties were waiting for their daily fucking chit-chat with the ladies on the counter. These ladies, you know, late sixties full of life and in great shape, who surely came directly from morning excercise were having a party at the bank. They had to talk over the country and the bank and how the two are robbing them and unfairly charging them for their services, they figured out. Then they started talking about some friends they have, spitting all over them with foul words I wouldn't use for a rat, when finally they decided to have a go at their husbands, who are as lazy as the devil. It also smelled like shit for fucks sake. Every damn time. I'm surprised they didn't bring a table to the bank and started making tea and cookies while talking with the employee from the bank.



In the end I was jealous of these fine, sophisticated ladies. I had to go to work and they had to do nothing. They were already arranging to go to the coffee shop across the street and talk about gardening, farting and other useless junk.

Ah yes, I think I will slowly grow in love with waiting in lines, but surely not before I retire (if I ever get there).

Who am I kidding, I hate waiting in lines! They piss me off!

Ziga.

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