An idiot's guide to working

An idiot's Guide to Life; Working

Want a job with eight hours of pure excitement and fun? A job where you will be appreciated and full of life? Where the people are nice and smart, a reasonable boss and a decent salary with which you can have a normal life?



Well then keep dreaming because that is very unlikely to happen.

Judging by the way things are going, we'll all work to death. Maybe a bit longer.

Without further ado here is a simple guide to working.

Getting a job

In order to work you must first get a job. No s***!  Having a job is the main cause of alcoholism, so beware! If you're a student like me you get to choose between the various fantastic jobs such as cleaning shit from toilets, working in a factory, making sandwiches working in a bar, minor administrative chores and if you're lucky and happen to have any experience, for example; 10 years of brain surgery, speak at least five languages, are a master programmer and can dance cha cha you might get a job that isn't completely shity. And by not completely shity I mean it's still s*** but you got paid about $0.10 more.

On the job

Once you get the job you start working. You will meet many great people. But who am I kidding? Your coworkers will probably consist off 2 idiots, one person that never speaks, one creepy bastard, a really nice grandma, a boss with a stick up his ass and one guy that doesn't really do anything. If you get lucky you can take a break and maybe even go to the toilet.

So now you're on the job and start working

You will be assigned a position that can easily be done by a lightly trained monkey and the monkey probably even gets paid more. It turns out it's all rather depressing. Your boss will explain to you what you will be doing in a way that makes you feel retarded even though it's very simple. So now you're standing there for 8 hours mixing up the salami, salad, tomatoes and so on into delicious sandwiches in crippling boredom.

How to pass the time

Now you find yourself making sandwiches or whatever for the next 8 hours of the day and the time couldn't be passing by slower. Your coworkers as I said before not even remotely interesting so you don't really want to socialize because you don't have anything in common unless you possess the thinking ability of a peanut. Listening to music helps and looking at the boxes and imagining an intelligent conversation that they're having plus it's the closest to get an intelligent conversation at work. That should do it.

In conclusion you can say that this article isn't really helpful but it does give you a rough idea about what it's like to go to work.


My point is thay you will end up an alcoholic with a lower salary than your monkey co-worker and maybe even lose your job to the monkey! F****** Larry..

Who knows maybe you'll be able to pay off your student debt!

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Ziga.

   

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